Me & My Thoughts

Tags

angry, calm, Emotions, hate, last, me, mine, New year, privacy, rain, sad, Thoughts, Xmas, year

Only 2 more weeks for this year to end. I can’t beleive it’s over. I feel like last year xmas was like a month back or something.

I’m getting a little worried/scared on the side thinking about time. It never used to scare me and I always used to welcome every year with so much joy. For some reason I dont want this year to end. This year was not so special or important that I dont want it to end but still why am I feeling this way. I just can’t figure out why I’m little agitated. Is it because I’m getting old or is it because of the mere “thought” of responsibilities that might come on my way in the coming year/(s) or is it because of something else ???

I feel that there is some unfinished business left for me in this year. I don’t think I will be able to fix it in the next 2 weeks but hopefully it will be better next year. Actually this year was also good… not as much as last year… but still it was very good and I’m pretty sure it was better than most of the people in the world. Therefore, I don’t want to complain. If something went wrong this year then it was just because of my stupid mind and me. I felt little alienated even though I was around people most of the time. Isn’t it funny ‘coz you are not alone most the time but still you feel lonely at times.
Sometimes I wonder why people think too much about themselves & people around them. I have heard that few ppl can blank out their mind and be in that state. I wish if I could do that at times. I hate when there is a rush of thoughts especially with a lota ???????? for which I don’t have any answers. Is it just me??? lol I hope not :D…

I wrote another whole paragraph & just deleted it… I always wanted this to be a private blog so I could just write any gibberish I want to and not care about it. But I guess along the way I revealed my identity :P… no big deal… but still I have to watch my words… Its raining here… and I love watching it… it kinda calms me :)… so winding up w/ my crazy thoughts for now …

adios!!!!

Kaise Mujhe Tum Mil Gayi, Kismat Pe Aaye Naa Yakeen

Tags

english, ghajini, hindi, kaise, love, lyrics, song, translation

Ghajini – 03 – Kaise Mujhe.mp3

 

Kaise Mujhe Tum Mil Gayi, Kismat Pe Aaye Naa Yakeen
How did you become mine? I can’t believe my good fortune

Utar Aayi Jheel Mein, Jaise Chaand Utar Ta Hai
You came to my life..like the moon descends by the lake occasionally

Kabhi Haule Haule Dheere Se
Slowly and graciously

Gunguni dhoop ki tarah se tarannum mein tum
Like the touch of warm sunrays

Chhooke mujhe Guzri ho yun
You showered me with melodious caresses

Dekhoon tumhe, Ya main sunoo.
Should I look at you or should I listen to you?

Tum ho sukoon, Tum ho junoon
You are my solace, you are my passion

Kyun pehle na Aayi tum?
Why you didn’t you come earlier?

Main to ye sochta tha ke aaj kal
Upar wale ko fursat nahi

I used to think that God is no longer unhurried and relaxed [has no time for me]
Phir bhi tumhe banake woh

Meri nazar mein chadh gaya
Rutbe mein woh aur badh gaya
But, having created you, his respect and status has risen in my eyes

Badley raaste jharne aur nadi,
Roads, streams and river may change their course

Badley deep ki tim tim
Radiance of lamps may diminish

Chhede zindagi dhoon koi nayi,
Life may initiate a new tune

Badley barkha ki rim jhim.
Raindrops may hum a different note

Badlengi rituyen adaa
Seasons may change their style

Par main rahoongi sada
But, I will remain forever

Usi tarah teri bahon mein bahen daalke
In your embrace, like always..

Har lamha Har pal
Each moment each second

Zindagi sitar ho gayi,
Life has become like (melodious sound of) sitar [after you came in my life]

Rimjhim malhaar ho gayi,
Like flow of the Malhaar ragaa

Mujhe aata nahi kismat pe apni yakeen, Kaise mujhko mili tum
I can’t believe how fortunate I am to have you in my life

Full Credits to : syday

Sad???

Tags

alone, lonely, lyrics, manjari, sad, song, vilapangalkapuram

Usually people listen to happy songs when they are sad … mainly to cheer up…
I’m totally opposite… I listen to very very depressing songs…

here is a new one I came across.

Mullulla_murikkinmel.mp3

Lyrics:

Movie: Vilapangalkkappuram (2009)
Director: T V Chandran
Lyrics: Girish Puthencherry
Music: M. Jayachandran
Singer: Manjari

Mullulla murikkinmel, moovanthi padarthiya,
Muthupole thuduthoru panineeree..
Panineere..

kaattonu annangiyaal, karalnonthu pidayunnna,
Kannadikavilathu kannuneer..
kannuneere..
(Mullulla..)

Maada praavinte manassulla ninte maaril,
Mailanchi chora kondu varanjathaaru? (Maadathe..)
Moncherum chirakkinte thooval nulli eduthittu,
Panchara vishari veeshi thanuthathaaru?
(Mullulla..)

Nenjilu thillakkana sankada kadulumaayi,
Enthinennariyathe vidhumbum penne.. (Nenjilu..)
Maimaayum mizhithumbil nee kolluthum villakkalle,
Nallathe iruttathe vellicham kanne..
(Mullulla..)

Movie Name: Thanmatra (2005)
Singer: Jayachandran P
Music Director: Mohan Sithara
Lyrics: Kaithapram
Year: 2005
Producer: Raju Mathew
Director: Blessy
Actors: Jagathy, Meera Vasudevan, Mohanlal, Nedumudi Venu

Thanmatra – Ithaloornnu Veena.mp3

Ithaloornnu veena panineer dalagnal thiriye cherum pole
dalamarmaragnal sruthiyodu chernnu moolum pole
ven chandranee kai kumbulil poo pole viriyunnu
mizhi thornnori maunagnalil puthuganamunarunnu…
Ithaloornnu veena panineer dalagnal thiriye cherum pole
dalamarmaragnal sruthiyodu chernnu moolum pole….
nanayumirulin kaikalil niraye minnal valakal
thaamara ilayil mazhaneer manikal thoovi pavizham
orkkan oru nimisham nenjil cherkkan oru janmam
ee orma polumoru ulsavam…. jeevitham ganam
Ithaloornnu veena panineer dalagnal thiriye cherum pole
dalamarmaraagnal sruthiyodu chernnu moolum…. pole….
pakaluvazhan pathivaayi varumee suryan polum
paathi raavil padikaliragnum thaane maayum
karayathedi kiliye kanne thoovaathen mukile
pular kalasuryan poyvarum veendumee vinnil

Ithaloornnu veena panineer dalagnal thiriye cherum pole
dalamarmaraagnal sruthiyodu chernnu moolum pole
ven chandranee kai kumbulil poo pole viriyunnu
mizhi thornnori maunagnalil puthuganamunarunnu…
Ithaloornnu veena panineer dalagnal thiriye cherum pole
dalamarmaraagnal sruthiyodu chernnu moolum pole….

 

 

Another Tag

Tags

crush, door, life, love, msg, parents, rhyme, sms, tag, txt

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
 Need to get my eyebrows threaded .. lol

2. How much cash do you have in your wallet right now?
 $25 and some coins… pathetic huh :D… I dont carry cash..

3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?
 Floor, Door, More

4. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
 some 1-800 number :p

5. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
 hmm I just got my new phone few days back… still dont have any favs

6. What are you wearing right now?
 top & pants

7. Do you label yourself?
 yaa sometimes

8. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently own? 
 hmm dunno the brand…I will have to take it off and check…:P

9. Bright or Dark Room?
Bright

10. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
Beautiful Mind

11. What does your watch look like?
Brown dial w/ golden & brown chain

12. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Sleeping 🙂

13.What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
“btw V & R has some other plans”

14. What’s a word that you say a lot?
 heyyyyy

15. Who told you he/she loved you last?(please exclude spouse , family, children)
who else say “I love u” :p

16. Last furry thing you touched?
Panda

17. Favourite age you have been so far?
23,24,

18.  What was the last thing you said to someone?
Did you get that coffee from the expresso machine 😛

19. The last song you listened to?
“Priyanu mathram njan..” from Robinhood

20. Where did you live in 1987?
Kerala

21. Are you jealous of anyone?
Sometimes yea…

22. Is anyone jealous of you?
have no idea…

23. Name three things that you have on you at all times?
ring, hair clip, phone (mostly)

 
24. What’s your favourite town/city?
where im right now 🙂

25. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
last june… for my parents 25th wedding anniversary.

26. Can you change the oil on a car?
May be.. 😀

27. Your first love/big crush: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
crush :- I think he is in Dubai now.. 1st Love: I heard he got married… 😛

28. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
hmm not really..

29. What is your current desktop picture?
company logo

30. Have you been burnt by love?
hurt yes… but never been burnt.. 😛

Now tagging Anu , Sujatha , Priya

Back to Work :)

Tags

back, close, good, home, job, parents, quote, reason, unemployment, Work

End to that unemployment phase… I’m back to workkk… 🙂
I’ve always tried to make myself believe that “everything happens for the good”…
But I seldom remember it when I really need it. 😉

When my last job contract ended, I was like “now what????” :O and I thought the time until the next job is going to be the worst ever. But actually, it turned out to be THE best. I got to spend time w/ my parents, we took a 1 month India trip,read few books,got to chill @ home for almost a month and half and now back to work… :)… It was like the perfect vacation time.. sometimes I get scared thinking abt all this… coz it sounds too good to be true.. I looked for a job for around 3 weeks…3rd week I got an interview call for a fulltime job from a company around 5 miles from home.. had 4-5 rounds of interviews including face to face…finished the last interview on a friday and got the job offer letter on monday… started working on the next monday… I feel all of this happened too fast and still cant beleive its true :).. I beleive its all god’s grace and natn else..

Those who are out there looking for a job, I understand how frustrating that period can be.. but hang in there… you will find something soon… dont lose hope..something really good is waiting for you…

Keep in Mind:
“Everything happens for a reason. Every action has a reaction. Always remember that whats meant to be will always find a way to come about.”… 🙂

Home Sweet Home :)

Tags

chicken, cooking, family, fish, Food, hunt, india, job, kerala, kovalam, life, onam, reality, restaurant, sadhya, trip, unemployment

yes thats right!!! home sweet home.. that’s where I’ve been in the past 2 months. 🙂

I’ve enjoyed sooo much in the past 2 months :).. We were planning for an India Trip in August. So once my contract (job) was finished, I didnt bother looking for a new one. I decided I will look for one once I get back from India. So I had no stress or tension thinking about the “unemployment” phase. I sat around, watched tv, stupid sitcoms, movies, read books, cooking experiments,visited my family in east coast, shopping && soooo many more stuff..

Then here comes the best part… 1 month in Kerala… god’s ownnnnnn country :)… I cant explain how much we loved our stay.  One month went sooo fastttttt :(.  First week, we took a 1 week road trip w/ my inlaws. The main aim was a theerthadanam ( basically a food”adanam”). The taste of kottayam fish curry, kozhikodu biriyani… hmm I dont think I will ever like my cooking again :D…

Some Restaurant suggestions for foodies like us : Kozhikodu Sagar (try the old sagar), Al-Bake , Alapuzha Brother’s (its a small crowded  hotel , but their fish curry meals & chicken curry — just superb) , TVM (Tharavattil, Rajadhani (just ok), Zam Zam, Sindoor, & sooo many more)

For those who love beaches, but dont like to go crazy if people are around : try the private beaches in Kovalam. Somatheeram, Thapovan, Coconut Bay Beach Resort etc etc,… there are sooo many of them.

After  looooooong 9 yrs, I got to spend Onam in Kerala. Eventhough, my amma made a big sadya every year & we went to all the onam celebs in US, it can’t be compared with the Onam in Kerala. I think its the feeling of being around w/ the family.. not just parents… but the whole big extended family… I just love that … 🙂 & ofcoz the sadhya w/ adapradhaman, paalada etc.

Few days before the trip, I had a small tension coz this was the first & longest time I was going to stay w/ my inlaws since wedding….. It was totally a great experience… I never knew inlaws could spoil you more than your own parents… and I experienced that….  and hats off to them for dealing with me :D… lol …  & on the way back we got free upgrade to business class 🙂 🙂 🙂 … So, overall it was a greaaaaat trip. It’s been more than  a week since we got back and I’m still talking about the trip lol..

Now back to reality… back to job hunt .. back to “my” cooking & housekeeping 😛 …  😦

Finally… The Wait is Over…

Tags

company, job, lay off, managers, time, unemployed, vendor, wait

Post Dated: May 8th, 09

In the last 2 months, I saw many people (friends, colleagues) losing jobs and leaving their companies. Our team had 7 (incld. me) contractors and I saw each one of them leave. Every time VP announced a lay off, my heart beats increased at least by 50 or 60.  😀 But my name was never on the list 🙂

One week back they announced a 15% pay rate cut for all contractors to avoid massive lay offs. To tell you the truth, I was bit relieved. 😛 Finally 2 days back, the vendor company told me “Sorry we have a bad news, “My Company” let us know that Friday will be your last day. Please work with Mr. MX to transition your work to someone else in the team. They also mentioned that they are very sorry to loose you… bla bla bla bla bla”. I didn’t say anything for few secs, and then I said “ok… thanks for letting me know”. Im not sure what I meant by that statement but that’s what came to my mind at that time. I was not surprised, depressed, sad or anything (may be confused 😉 ).

I tried to talk to my manager AD but he is in Japan for a conference 😡 . So I went and talked to KK (another manager, higher level to AD) and he was very surprised because he didn’t even know about this. I told few of my colleagues and they were also shocked. I guess only AD knows the real reason. KK is trying to track him down and kick his ***. lol … I guess I will only get to know the final decision by eob today…

I’m still not sure what I feel, but inner inner mind I’m feeling bit relieved.

Finally the wait is over….

yea rite… thats what I thought….

Update: May 14th, 09

On May 8th, I said “ I guess I will only get to know the final decision by eob today…” Its May 14th today and I still dont know their final decision.  I handed over most of my projects to other people.  I’m still in a standby mode waiting to hear a final decision. Either tell me “we are sorry… but you have to go..” or “hurrayy you are staying..” .. now im more like “chekkuthanum kadalinum nadukku” situation…  lol …

Update: May 28th, 09

I’m not in that situation anymore… things got finalized… today is my last day… hurrayyy!!! (not for loosing the job but for knowing the final decision) ;)…

good luck to everyone out there who lost jobs & searching for one… one more member to your club 🙂

Sleepy Day!!!

Tags

birthday, blog, brother, excuse, Friends, hariharnagar, month, Movie, night, sleepy, tweety, weekend

It’s been almost a month since I logged in here. I thought of writing here whenever good/bad, a disagreement, a fight, or anything that sort happened. But I was too lazy to open this up and write.  In the past 1 month, I got too busy at work… bla bla bla… I think I’m just trying to make up excuses to console me that I didn’t get time to check my blog.. lol. . anyways… 😀

This week was special to me, coz it’s the birthday week. It started off with my bro’s bday, and 2 of my friends’ bdays back to back  🙂 :).. We all are planning to get together for the night and most probably will go for a movie (“Hariharnagar 2”). I have heard bad & good reviews about the movie. But I’m just going to take my chances and watch it.

I’m not getting much to scribble down. I’m feeling very sleepy .. Don’t get me wrong thinking its late night, its just 2:19 pm.

All of you out there, wide awake and reading my blog…  :P… have a great weekend & have lotssssssssss of fun…

Adios…

Kovakka Thoran

Kovakka/Tindora/Ivy Gourd/Dondakai – Thoran

In India, ivy gourd is often recommended to diabetics due to its low glycemic index and its possible ability to help regular blood glucose.  Ivy gourd contains beta-carotene, a major vitamin A precursor from plant sources. It is also considered a good source of protein and fiber.

I usually make kovakka mezhukupuratti instead of thoran. Today I was just browsing through the recipe sites and came across “The budding cook” . It had a recipe for this thoran and I thought I will try it out with some changes…

Here is the recipe that I followed:

• Kovakka – 1/2 kg – slice them into 4 (length wise)
• Mini Carrots – 10 – slice them into 4 (length wise)
• Green Chillies – 6 – slice lengthwise
• Turmeric Powder – ½ tsp
• Salt – 2 Tbsp (or to taste)
• Shredded Coconut – 1 small cup

Combine all the above items in a pan with 1 cup water. Cover with a lid and cook for 15 – 20 mins in medium heat (or until they are cooked). After 10 mins, add crushed chilly (1 tsp) to the pan.  Mix well and close the lid.

• Red Pearl Onions–  7 (thinly diced)
• Mustard seeds – ½ tsp
• Curry leaves – 2 sprigs
• Oil – 1 Tbsp

Heat ½ Tbsp oil in a pan. Add the mustard seeds and when they start spluttering, add the shallots and curry leaves. Once they are well sautéed, add them to the pan with cooked kovakka. Add the rest of the oil to the thoran and saute it well till it turns dry (Keep it on low flame for 5 – 10 mins )

Serve with Rice.

March ??? Not my month in ‘09

Tags

babies, company, contractor, death, driving, health care, kids, lay off, love, march, month, parents, rip, stop, ticket, violation, Work

I usually hate Sunday evenings & Mondays, especially because of the thought of getting up in the morning to go to work/school. However I never totally disliked a month in a year. Beginning of this year was going totally well & then March came and all the bad things started happening. May be they are not the worse in your eyes but its worse for me.

1^st week – Violation

“If they think I’m going to stop at that stop sign, they’re sadly mistaken!”

Whenever AB & I go to our friends’ place, he is always the driver and I just entertain/torture him with my non stop talking. One day Smit… told me about her mom’s famous kappa biriyani and I just couldn’t stop drooling. She offered me some & I just couldn’t wait till the evening to pick it up. So I drove to her place following the GPS madam’s instructions. This stupid gps ammachi didn’t bother to tell me there was a stop sign coming up 😦 hence I missed it 😀 (ya she is the last person whom I can blame..) . Who knew a cop (on cycle) would be there waiting for someone like me to miss that stop sign. Anyways long story short, I got a $250 traffic violation ticket & I have to take an 8 hr (slow death) traffic class.

2^nd , 3^rd week & 4^th week – Delete (y/n)

These were the weeks of lay offs. I always thought the best field or the safest is the health care field. Well I still think it’s the safest comparatively but nothing is “safe” in this economy. My client company announced there will be a small cut down of resources mid 2^nd week and on Wednesday my coworkers Vid & Apm got their notices saying that they have 2 days left in the company. But they managed to contact some other group and found 2 positions there and moved there. 3^rd week Monday, they lay off 890 FTs and our manager told us that they will cut down the contractors as well. None of us knew who all are going to be kicked out. 3 days later, they announced the names. Luckily I was not one among them, but I really feel bad for the other 3 who had to leave.

The # of projects we are currently working on (incld. me) are very less and we got an email that says they will consider reducing the contractor staffing even more… 😛 hmmm, so nothing is for sure… There is going to be another set of layoffs pretty soon…

4^th week – Deaths

I don’t want to go in details here coz I don’t like to write about deaths. I heard about 3-4 deaths this week and all of them were about kids/babies. I don’t know why HE took them away from their loved ones at a young age itself.  I can’t even think about how their parents must be feeling now. And I really hope & pray that it doesn’t happen to anyone else.  May they all rest in peace!!!!!

I don’t think I need more reasons to dislike this month. Few days are still left in March for the 5^th week and I just can’t wait for the next month…